Tie your shoe, stand up, face the world.

Days like these make me just wonder is there any point of struggling so hard to achieve something and to hold on something you think its right when others deny? Say it out loud "do not give up" but everytime you think that things are turning better, it turn out worst, this is the time when situation turns more shitty! At this point nearly nothing could cheer you up and the least you could hope for is people around you to be abit more understanding.  And sincerely, my parents are not those type of person. They always have the perception of "Adults have more to think, more to trouble, more to care; and you kids have nothing to care about". So whenever Im facing shitty situation, you adults are hoping me to SMILE and SMILE and SMILE right? its so stupid. You're equally telling me to lie to myself. Why not give me drugs then? Ecstasy sounds nice. I dont demand much but leave me alone when you see me pulling that long face. Im not hoping for you to cheer me up or something. Im not that fortunate to even have someone doing that job!
Im really really tired.
Im tired of being the person you want me to be.
Im tired of lying to myself.
Im tired dreaming of something i could never achieve.
Im tired of hoping that you understands me.
I misses the one person who hear me cry and make me laugh over stupid jokes. I dont know what make this day so depressing but Im not having a good day, in a scale of 1 to 10 I would only rate it 2. Im seriously having a horrible day. Worst is, I couldnt even cry those problems out.

I guess no one lives a perfect life afterall.

A big wrap up

If the angels were to ask what I loved most about life,
I would answer "friends". They are every part of me.
Our age is not simply just numbers, it's a big cargo of experience and memories.

baaaaannggg!

Heyaa, Im back blogging! Fingers had already rusted. When was the last time I blogged? *fingers counting* Trust me, I wanted to blog a long time ago but "I'm a lazy bum" haha. I shall just list some significant events and lil' stuff happened. First of all, Im officially done with AUSMAT. I remember how i whine alot about how difficult life in ausmat but now just hear me whine about how i miss ausmat. I missed ausmat so much; despite all the bad days when exams are on and those scary days when results are distributed. I missed all the ausmat buddies! I missed how we laugh like nobody's business! I missed those nonsense we gossiped about!
I hated so much to say goodbye and knowing we are all going in different direction after today. I'd to always go thru few sleepless night missing each and everyone of them. I'll never forget every single one of you. *love*

My buddies;

We will hunt you to the end! *BOO*

Nah, we love you *LOVE*

My EALD lecturer :) *hah, where's my eyes?*

Secondly, I finally persuade dad to buy me a DSLR! sodamhappy. Its just a secondhand camera its still in good quality. Dint want to buy a new one firstly its because dad won't sponsor me money, and I just bought it for some simple outings with friends. Until I've learnt how to use the camera then I'll buy a better one.

*cheers* my new baby! 

I think thats all for today :) My laptop is lagging again and I really feel like trashing it! Lesson learnt "Never Ever Buy A COMPAC Laptop" This stupid thing keeps on overheating and I can never turn it on for than an hour, it will restart over and over again. Irritating right? I know. Im so freaking annoyed by it! Okay, toodles! :) I promise to update more this holiday.

signing off,

love carina.