Mother's Day

Mum and grandma, thankyou for being the best mother of the whole universe, and always being there for me when I need someone. You both have some magical powers that make all my problem away, whenever you say "everything is gonna be fine"; problem is not a problem anymore.
I only heard of story how nasty am I when I was young but I bet taking care of any baby is not easy. Being the only daughter and only granddaughter, I had all the attention from you all. You guys always say Im the worst baby on earth and I know you all dont mean it. :)  Instead you guys put in 120% of effort to take care of this nasty monster. Im nothing without you both. Wait till I grow up a lil more, I'll bring the whole universe for you both. Keep my words. I'll work hard, earn more and repay you both with everything.
Grandma, I love your cooking so dam much :) And everytime I come home from college the only thing I'm looking forward for is that fantastic dinner you cooked. You love cooking and I know thinking of what to cook for the 6 of us is really difficult, thankyou!
You both always complaint, I dont love you guys. I just dont say it out, I love you guys more than anything in the world. I do love you guys and its so difficult for me to tell, because by the time I open my mouth I'd already cried...
That all for now, I LOVE YOU :)
ps. Its not that easy to type out something like that, because I'll be crying like no tomorrow again.

Reminiscence

Greeting to the dead blog, Im back! 

Decided to blog abit halfway doing my tutorials. Im bored of writing and writing and writing. 

• Its finally Thursday! :) Gonna meet up with the girls tomorrow, gonna see all their cute and funny faces. Shout out, TOMORROW WILL DEFINITELY BE A GOOD DAY. Might not be meeting all of them but still, Im happy and excited enough. :DD
• Another month and shes gonna be back! but sad la I have finals when she is back. 
• Offered to be a volunteer and help out for the Ajahn Brahm. Having lots of fun that day :)
• Guess I have nothing much to say.
• Still, IM SUPER EXCITED TO MEET THE GIRLS. awww I just dunno why :)

Carina. 

Dad's birthday.

I'm a day late, dad's birthday is on the 4th of March. We did a really simple birthday celebration for him at Shogun, Sunway Pyramid. Surprisingly, its FOC for the birthday 'boy' and senior citizen its only half price. Shogun somehow changed their rule, everyone are require to pay before you even eat. Its right to do so, but just the weird feeling of paying before eating. 

(Penang speed boat ride, 2011)

Dad's hand holding tight on the bars, and his super stiff smile. 

The reason behind this is that he is afraid of being swing down the sea. HAHA

Anyway, Happy Birthday daddy! I don't really know how old is my dad. -.- Sorry for being a very nasty daughter, because he likes to lie about his age. And all i know is that he is one year younger than my mum. My sis always says that mum remain 45 every year so then it makes my dad 44 years old; i guess. 

Thanks for being the awesome-st dad in the whole universe. Yea, and always covering up my mistake and finishing up things that i'm not willing to finish. I know you must have lots of patience having a daughter like me, with such nasty behavior. I show temper at times and you're still being patient. You're always telling me i did good in this and that when i know i don't even deserve compliments. You helped me so much in my college and uni assignments and homework. If I'm going for overseas study, I guess I'll skype and call you every night asking you how to do this and that. I'm already imagining how would you react, you nag me for sure, complaining how I should settle it myself but then you'll still settle it for me. Heh heh. And every time when I'm having exams, dad knows I burn midnight oil and he will prepare supper and sometimes breakfast as well. Thinking back I never once make you breakfast. I'm an awful daughter.
You say I'm a "19th with 9th years old behavior" and clearly I'm not; I know, among three of us I'm always the one creating problems. -.- I dont want to cause problem, but problem just like staying with me. I do cry easily, and who says an adult cannot cry?When I really cry you'll tease me even more, even trying capturing photos of me crying! Hmmmp. At times I really thought you don't care how I feel. Then once mum told me, how you disturb and wake her up during the night to discuss and settle my so-called 'problem' when there's no big deal about it. 

Thank you daddy!!

I know you love teasing and annoying me until you see me get piss off. You always have to disturb me from my beauty sleep, waking me up super early when you already know i'm not having any plans on that day because you say its fair for me to wake up the same time as you. Hah, and I ignore you almost every time XP and i know you love imitating me, I wanna tell you that i don't mind. :D

I know you wont be reading my post daddy, ILOVEYOU! :) Youre the BEST!

Love Carina <3

You're so far away

Skyped with this lady today. :)

and she just dont know how much i miss her, ever since she left M'sia to further study in Aussie I've been doing things without her. Im so used to do things with her last year, I even faced her more than i faced my family. Im still not used to it CHIYIANCHEONG! You better get your ass back here during June orelse I'll fire Aussie. Now, I'm going uni everyday without you and I'm like super lonely there. The #foreveralone thing applies on me so well! because I'm so dam lazy to meet someone new, going over the "get to know each other" kind of process. People in uni are not being friendly, yea Im having face problem cause people only doesnt smile back to me. ( '___' ) Im constantly having the idea of "what if you're here" im missing you like crazy okay...... HAHA. Remember the situation i told you just now, I think sooner or later I'll be really #foreveralone she'll have her group of friends and then leave me alone. And dont tell me "because she's pretty", I know she pretty. Reason why? I'll tell you the next time we skype. If that really happens, you better come back and save me. :(( I know im being so random in the middle of the night.
And hope you meet some awesome aussie people there kay? :) I bet they are much more friendly that those ppl here. Faster go explore some exciting and interesting things there, so if out of expectation im going there I wont have to rott there. HAHA. All the best in everything!
Specially for you CCY!

ps. one more thing, when you're skyping with the busy women JL, tell her dont leave me alone! I can cry to die. I know our timetable clashes like nobody business, i regret die already!

To sum it up.

 

A very late wish peeps "Happy Chinese New Year" "Gong Hei Gong Hei". Midnight blogging again.I expect to stay at home throughout the whole chinese new year but this year I was partying everywhere, from kota kemuning to tropicana to sunway damansara to malacca. And I barely got enough sleep. I had the most special reunion dinner this year - a buffet dinner at Tropicana golf club. The fod was ok ok only, not really good. My grandma can seriously cook better than them. But it doesnt really matter. The first day of CNY as usual, I'll have a small reunion at home and then head to mother's side of the family, they are mostly in KK. Thts when Im lucky because I dont have to experience jam for hours and hour again then holding you pee for hours and hours while the car is caught in the middle of the jam. Believe me, you dont wanna try, plus when the air-cond is blowing direstly towards you...... okayyy. Then the second day, I went back to Malaca for the family gatherig i had once a year. Lucky draw, games, angpaus and all. I shall just skip this part beause just by thinking of it I feel like smashing the laptop. skip skip. Really wanna know, ask me personally, I bet you feel the same as me. The family gathering end around 12am and reach home around 230, so I spend my Wednesday at home sleeping till noon. Oh wait, wednesday is the day I reeived the approval letter from Waikato Uni. Then strating form thrusday, I've been partying partying from one house to another, then gambling of course! I had the most busies CNY this year.

And I've finally made up my mind, Im not going overseas so fast, I wasnt prepared to live by my own so fast. And I wasnt prepared to leave everything behind in Malaysia. Dont get me wrong, I have the ability to live myself and take care of myself well, its the matter of choice. There isnt something that I cannot do if I'm willing to try. Yea, and I decided to stay after reading a text this very 'awesome' friend texted me. He told me to make parents feel worth sending me out there and this moment I dont think they will. :)

carina.

Alright. Its 537am now and Im blogging with sis's laptop. I received the approval letter from Waikato University yesterday afternoon and I just got up from my sleep. And seems like dad already 60% sure that im going over. I've always been wanting to go overseas and this is what I want. Right? till here, Im really happy. But then everyone doubt that I could survive myself in the outside world without my parents there helping me to clean up my mess. Mum is the worst, she think im gonna die without food because I dont even know how to use the stove. I depend on the microwave for food, and i only know how to re-heat food. But obviously I'll learn how to use that. Then I started questioning myself whether can i really do it all myself since like 99% of the people i know says I couldnt do it. I admit Im like so over protected by my parents and then im so use to the maid doing all my stuff, from laundry to pressing my toothpaste for me. Then everytime I have problem, my parents will be there helping me to do everything they can. College assignment, dont mention about it; I had to cry through to get my work done, then got my pendrive lost a day before deadline. Plus I had my dad doing part of it. I dint really solve any major problem by myself. Some really "major" problem that i ever solve is friendship problems. People like me really fail. So now i really dont have any strong point fighting back those people who say i couldnt live outside.

Then secondly, Im gonna use up large amount of cash to pay that extreamy big amount of school fees because we will be paying for the whole year courses at one shot. Im pretty sure my dad is gonna work his ass off to after paying my school fees. His business just get better this year and they should really be enjoying after all the hard work. If im really studying overseas, I wont be staying with them in malaysia, I dont wanna see my parents doing all the unwanted argument over cash. Then my sister and brother will have to see them argue and argue every day n night. I put them in this difficult situation because I told them i wished to go overseas. They are right, I always do things without thinking of what the consequences are. I really hate myself now.

I always had people fulfilling what I want and dint really put myself in their shoe. They gave me the best they got. Everything I have, my sister and brother wouldnt be able to own it even if they do they will beusing those that I've used. And everytime they wants something, parents would say "your sister haven got it yet" and they wouldnt be able to get what they want. This time, if im going overseas my sister wouldnt even have the same chance as I do. I know i have no rights to complain anything right now because this is what i wanted from the very first day. Im grateful with everything, I really shouldnt be complaining. I will have to come up with a decision really soon and i really dont know how. Dad told me to not bother any other things because he can handle it, how could I? I be like the "bad guy" leaving everyone that i care in a difficult situation. I HATE MYSELF SO DAM MUCH! There are so much more to think off. Every thing from my buddies to my dog then to object. I hate myself even more.

I gotta go now, sleeping soon.
ps, no crying during new year.

Carina.